Q: What do you get when you have sex with a pregnant woman?
A: A baby with a black eye.
So I went into the Mexican place today and saw Jordan's sister pigging out on burritos and chips. She was in there when I went in, and she was still in there when I went out. Oh sorry, I just felt like making fun of fat people to make myself feel better. I'll stop now.
The point is, I had a beef taco for the first time ever. (I was having bean tacos before.) Man, was that a mistake. As a general rule from now on, Joe: If something looks and smells like dog food, it probably tastes like it, too.
I pretty much hate contacts. Why can't I be rich so I can get laser eye surgery? Hear that, Jesus? I want laser eye surgery (and be rich, it would be nice if you threw that in too). But you never listen so you can suck my fucking balls. Why do people even praise Jesus? Is Jesus a dog? Only dogs need praising. And treats. That cookies and milk dish we put out for Santa every Eve of le Christmas should have been for Jesus but Santa's a fat fuck who changed the rules so he could get more sugar.
If my goddamn movie has to get delayed again I think I'm going to kill myself. Now it's March. Oh well, atleast I can get ready. Just watch it NOT snow tomorrow.